"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
