Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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