yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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