How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I think my vagina is haunted
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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