I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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