Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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