She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
