Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
