the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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