ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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