I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
