the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize