that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
