When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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