How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
