Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i've created a new STD.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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