I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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