Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
