He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
