@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i dont even know how to be here
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
