everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
