Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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