U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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