Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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