ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize