the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
