Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
