and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
