Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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