the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
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I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
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I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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