Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
