Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize