1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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