Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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