I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
These tits shall not be calmed
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
