You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my shit smells like andre
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
