the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize