Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
