you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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