we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My feet surprised me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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