Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
