I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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