I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Actions speak louder than pants.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
