bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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