Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
