What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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