it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
