i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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