i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
