that's an acceptable place to lick
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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