I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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