Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
