I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
