Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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