Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize