He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize