It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
