Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
