There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
