i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize